If she had the proper words to say,

1. "Aren't you afraid that he'll be killed?"
(This one ranks in at number one on the "duh" list. Of course we're afraid. We're terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds - but thanks, Brilliant, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they're scared of dying.)

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Philip is at the squadron right now, in-processing back to this base. We dropped him off just before 7:45am this morning. He's got lots of little things to do, so I'm not sure how long he'll be gone today. However, he does have 17 days personal time off, so he's all ours for the next couple of weeks. :-)

As he was unpacking all of his huge bags last night, he kept talking about this smell - this particular Iraqi/Kuwaiti "funk" - that all of his stuff had acquired. He gave me samples of two body sprays that he had begun wearing while over there just to help mask the "funk." Myself, I didn't smell anything different about all of his stuff... until today. Now that there's a huge load of darks going in the washer, I can smell the "funk" - and HOW. Ewwww. I'm glad I put in a bit extra detergent. I may even wash these next few loads a couple of times!

I *just* got off the phone with Philip's mom, trying to help her pass the time as they wait in Baltimore for Philip's arrival there tonight. As I was talking to her just now, she interrupted some people standing nearby and found out that indeed, the plane had JUST LANDED.

She's been pacing through the soles of her shoes all day. His parents have been in Baltimore since just after noon sometime. And just now, she's so excited and so fluttery about seeing him that she's barely making sense as she talks! :-D

One more leg, baby! One more leg!

I called Philip's 1st Sgt. yesterday afternoon to let him know about this second robbery. The squadron has a new 1st shirt now, and his name just cracks me up - Burrito. Yep, just like the food! He seemed very nice. Of course, I'd known the guy who was "acting 1st shirt" at the time of the first robbery, but the new shirt wants me to come in and speak with him personally - put a face to the name, so to speak. Plus, he told me he wanted to actually SEE me and make sure that I was okay (I'd explained to him that I just wasn't the same emotional wreck this time - that I was just more mad at the whole situation). I was supposed to meet with him this morning, but I had to call and cancel early because I kept A.J. home from school this morning.

So I've got to meet with him in the morning, and then I have to go to the Bellevue Police station. Again. To get a copy of the police report and my statement. Again. I swear, I'm going to be dreaming about that place now - I see it so often, it seems!

On the agenda for the rest of the day is just organizing, straightening, cleaning, etc. Not that Philip will even care (because he wouldn't care if the house were filthy, I'm sure), but just because then I won't have to do hardly anything for the first several days that he's home. I really deep-cleaned before my Pampered Chef party last Sunday, so I've really just "maintained" the status of the house since last week. I don't have much that needs to be done, but I would like to clean and vacuum out the car. And I need to move back into "my" spaces again. See, with all the empty space in the closet and dressers, I sorta took over. Now I've got to make sure there's room to put all of his things again. Oops. ;-)

T-minus 35 hours, 53 minutes!

T-minus 47 hours, 27 minutes until Philip is home!

Today has been a day of flying unbelievably, absolutely high. I've been on a cloud all day. I don't think I've ever smiled so big, nor smiled through so many happy, happy tears.

He's coming home!

The phone has rung off the hook all day long - they've been good phone calls. :-)

Jack and I went out for lunch and then went to my friend Jan's house for a playdate this afternoon. Jack played with her son Cole, and they got along well. They'll be coming over here on Thursday for another playtime, providing that the weather is nice that day.

It was just such a wonderful day.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TINA!

I hope you are having a great Saturday birthday, dear taryns_mom! :-D

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I'm at work today. There are tons of people next door working on McDonald's right now, and I'm so glad to see them. I want that McD's back up and open for business again so bad - the traffic they bring in will really help to put me at ease while I'm working here...

The zoo field trip was during the day yesterday, and then at 6pm we were back at the school for the annual PTA carnival. We didn't make it to the school carnival in either of A.J.'s first two school years, so last night was the first time. I spent $20 on tickets (80). The pizza, nachos and popcorn had to be bought with tickets as well, but even so, we had plenty. Heather had brought in 50 box tops for tickets, plus she also bought some and gave them to the boys for games. The boys did the first 5 games or so together, and then Jack just wanted to play on the playground while A.J. tried everything else. They received little prizes at each booth, but Heather and I were the most excited when A.J. won a small whoopie cushion in the 'Toilet Toss.' He played a few games 2 or 3 times, and we all shared some cotton candy (though Jack was still playing away). We still had tickets leftover, so the boys tried the 'Lollipop Draw' a few more times, in hopes of winning Heather a big pixi stick. A.J. won one for her, and then it was time to get going - all the booths were packing up. It was a fun time, and the popcorn was much too salty, but hey - that's what school carnivals are supposed to be like, right? ;-)

I cleaned up the kitchen and gave the boys a bath and put them to bed when we got home. I continued filing papers in the office, and I cleaned several things off of the kitchen counter. I wanted to get lots of things done last night in preparation for my Pampered Chef show on Sunday afternoon, knowing that I'd be at work all day today.

I slept so soundly last night. I didn't stay up too late, and I crawled into bed just a few minutes after midnight. My feet were so tired by the end of the day. I swear, I must have really wimpy feet. :-P

I think I may have accidentally hung up on Philip this week. Possibly twice, even. See, he tries to email me beforehand that he's going to call on a certain day or at a certain time, and I do everything I can to be there for that phone call. But earlier this week, the phone rang at some point, and after I answered it, there was a forever long pause. I decided that the person/machine wasn't going to answer back, so I clicked the 'off' button as I moved to put the phone back up. In that millisecond of time before the connection was actually cut off, I heard a voice that sounded a lot like Philip's say "Hello?" It was too late, though - I'd already pushed the button.

And then the same basic thing happened again yesterday morning. Again, I wasn't expecting a call from him, and we were in a rush to get out the door and get to the zoo. I answered, waited a bit and then hung up. Again, just a split-second before the phone went off, I heard a "Hello?"

I hope I didn't hang up on him - especially twice - but I do worry that I did. :-/

I realized tonight that it's been about 2 weeks since I last logged in to Philip's email and cleaned out the spam and stuff. When I realized this, I was ashamed for having forgotten to do so, and I immediately jumped to the task.

While doing so, I accidentally found something I'm sure I wasn't supposed to find. In his webmail, I noticed that the Drafts folder contained a message - this is the first time I've seen that. Curiosity compelled me to look...

I wish I could turn back time. I really, really do. This heart will never forget that awful message.

Philip wrote me a goodbye letter. One to me and his mom. In case he doesn't come back.

I'm bawling. I'm numb. I'm sick. I want to erase it from my mind forever, and yet... I'm so touched that he thought to do something like this. And I'm so scared that he thought it a real enough possibility that he would need to.

*sobs*

Philip sent me three new pictures today. There were all taken between July 28-31st, and I'm just going to put my favorite one here. You can see the other two in his journal here.)


Philip and his truck crew - SrA Therrien and SrA Fabella.