"He's gonna eat the goat?"
Mar. 20th, 2008 10:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
navygreen(The subject line will come into play, I promise you.)
This morning, after waking to take the boys to school, I climbed back into bed for a 1+ hour nap before getting ready for work. When the alarm beeped at 9:20, I lazily hit the snooze button and continued to relish in my new nine more minutes of peace. Before the clock reached 9:29, however, something happened. The fan blowing at my face dulled its whooshing as the revolutions slowed. Just as quickly as I noticed the difference and opened my eyes, the gears picked up and the fan was going at high-speed once again. The VCR and DVD player on the TV at the ceiling was making click-y resetting sounds, and I knew then that the power had gone out for a brief moment. I turned to check my alarm, not surprised at all to see it flashing 12:00.
"Fine," I thought. "I'll get up now, then. I'm going to have to go around and re-set all the clocks anyway." But the strangest thing did NOT happen in the power outage - not a single other clock in the house seemed affected. Of course, I realize the digital clock on the cable box sets itself automatically with our cable provider, so that's usually the one we use to set all other clocks against... but it was still perfectly in time with the display on the cell phone. And the microwave, the stove, the A/C register, etc. - everything was still keeping perfect time. However, as I walked back down the hallway to my room to begin getting dressed, I could hear the loud buzz! of the computer's speakers, but I didn't have time to get sucked into my email, LJ, and other things before work, so I left it alone.
When I returned home at 2:30pm (4.5+ hours later, if you're keeping track), I entered the office and set to righting the computer once again. As I'd noticed earlier, the speaker system was buzzing loudly - this happens anytime we restart or shut down the computer, or anytime the power goes out. The reason for this is that we leave the computer on almost all of the time, so if there is any sort of outage in computer power, it is likely that the monitor and speakers are still on.
As per my usual with a power outage, I switched the surge protector strip to off, reset it, and then turned it back on. I allowed fifteen seconds for the cable modem to boot, and then another ten seconds for the router to warm up. Then I pressed the button on the front of my system, only to be shocked by a sudden, very loud noise as the fan churned in high gear. And kept blowing! As startling as that aspect alone was, nothing appeared on the monitor screen either. In fact, the monitor's power button was lit with a steady orange light - a sign that it had gone into "power save" mode. Moving the mouse did nothing to "awaken" it, and with no video on the screen, my options were limited as to trying anything else. So I shut down the computer and tried again. This time, upon turning on just the power strip, the computer started itself (without me touching the button!), and it freaked me right out. "It's possessed!" I tried it again. And again. I tried two more times, ending in identical scenarios, before fully deciding that I didn't know what else to try, and I was scared to death that my computer was fatally overheating - the loud fan was so unsettling!
So I pulled out my paperwork, and I looked up DELL support number. I called, and I was very quickly connected to a nice man in the technical support department. I explained to him my issue, and he asked me for certain key bits of information. He wanted to know which numbers, if any, lit up on the front of my box when the computer turned on, and I had to flip the power strip once again. And again, the monster system started itself instantly, blowing and growling and sounding so utterly fierce. I read to him the green glowing numbers from the front: 1, 3, and 4.
And he checked his diagnostic notes. He hemmed and hawed, and then he said, "Well, um... This is a pretty serious issue. Those numbers mean that your computer is never bypassing that first fraction of a second in the booting process. Your fan does that every time you turn the system on, you see, but you have probably never noticed it before because it also quiets to near-silence just as quickly. The fan is staying on because the system is not working through the boot-up process at all, and to fix this, we're going to have to take everything out of the box."
I choked, and then spluttered, "I'm sorry? You don't really mean that I will be getting into the inside of my computer... do you? I don't think that would be wise..." And he answered, "Yes, ma'am, I do. But I'll talk you through it, and if anything happens, it will be my liability while you are talking to me. I promise you, we'll get it figured out."
The time was then 2:53pm, and I asked how long the procedure would take (knowing it couldn't be a "quick" fix). When he answered that, "start to finish - barring any major complications - we're looking at 1.5 to 2 hours," I cut in. "I have to pick up my kids from school in ten minutes. How can I call you back and pick up right here where we're leaving off?" He then assigned me a case number, and told me a few details. I needed a clear workspace in which to lay the components of my computer, so I assured him that I had entire floor in the office which I could use, and it was nice and carpeted. He was alarmed, "No! No, you can't use carpet, or the static electricity could shock or ruin a part. You'll need a flat surface." I set about clearing my desk then of all items (picture an arm-sweep of items into my office chair, and you'll be just about right). "Also, you'll need to ground yourself and drain any power from your body before you touch the wiring of each piece - you don't want to shock your system with yourself, either."
"ARE.YOU.KIDDING.ME?!" I screamed in my head. "I cannot do this! Not if I want my computer to LIVE!" I thanked him for the help, and I hung up. As I slid into the driver's side of my car, I could do nothing more than shake my head over and over. I knew I was going to violate - and likely, destroy - my computer very soon.
On the way home from school, I explained the situation to the boys, and I told them I would need them to not come into the office to ask me questions while I was on the phone. They were set with snacks and drinks before I dialed back for help. This second time, I was not so lucky, and it was almost fifteen minutes before I reached a live person in technical support.
And the person had a heavy Indian accent. I nearly began crying even as he introduced himself, so afraid that if I misunderstood something very vital, I'd kill my computer in the process. Before I had called, I had disconnected every single item from the back of the computer, as per the original tech's suggestion, with the exception of the power cord itself. The heavy accent then had to give me his first command THREE times before I could understand what he was telling me to do: unplug the power cord. (I kid you not.) As I bit my lip in worry, I heard him say something like this: "Because your system is a high performance system, I will have to transfer you to a different team of technicians for further help." I let out a deep breath, then quickly gathered another one, crossing my fingers and praying for a tech I could better understand.
"Hello, my name is C. How can I assist you today?" Bless you, he sounded perfect - his voice clear and without a trace of accent. (I later learned he was Canadian.) I nearly cried again, this time in joy.
And then the "fun" began. I pulled all kinds of things out of my box - large cards and tiny, needle-sized jumpers, power and data connectors, hard drives and disc drives, modem cards, etc. It was NERVE-WRACKING, and it was INTENSE. It also took forever, but the tech was so kind, so patient, and so funny! We were cracking each other up with all kinds of quotes and puns. Due to excessive static electricity, I ended up taking off my pants (my slacks are constantly sticking to something), and then my wool socks, too. I asked if I could be wearing anything else worse, and he asked, "Cashmere sweater?" I laughed and replied, "Nope!"
Two hours in, my bladder ready to burst, and I asked the tech for a minute's break so I could pee. He waited for me (I left the phone in the other room - even on mute, it would've felt too weird to pee with a stranger!), and then we were back to work. Finally - FINALLY! - after several mini-heart attacks on either my part or his throughout the process, plus a TON of missed calls (seriously, everyone in the world tried to call me as I was on the phone in those hours), plus Philip's arriving home (which, when I remarked to the tech that I heard my husband in the garage then, he jokingly said, "Maybe you ought to put pants back on, then? Just so he doesn't get the wrong idea!"), we were at what looked to be the end of the fix... and everything was working! (For roughly an hour in there, it looked as though my hard drive was a goner, and I was devastated.)
Best of all, at a very critical moment in part of the shut off, power down, restart process (something done over and over as each individual part was reattached singularly), there was a particularly intense moment when the fan had blown loudly again in the last attempt. In the next one, I saw a window of opportunity to use one of my favorite lines from one of my favorite movies - a line that had never fit the occasion quite so perfectly as it did then: "Hold on to your butts!"
(I love me some Samuel L. Jackson in Jurassic Park. Even though he gets Raptor-ized before the end.)
He laughed so hard, and I was glad he got the line and the joke. In the course of later conversation, we quoted Knight Rider, Spiderman, and Harry Potter. Seriously, I would wish this guy's help on any of you that might ever need a technical assistant. He was so fun, and as we wrapped up the fix, we were both SHOCKED to see the runtime of the phonecall:
4 hours and 17 minutes!
Add that together with the 25 minutes I spoke with the first tech before picking the boys up, and I was on the phone with DELL Support today for a total of 4 hours and 42 minutes! That's just insane!
But everything is working smoothly again, and I also have new goodies on the way:
- 2 GB extra RAM
- 320 GB external hard drive
Things are going to run SO.MUCH.FASTER. once that memory is installed (I am currently running at 1 GB), and I am stoked. Plus I'm really excited to fill out a customer satisfaction survey on this help call - I've never worked with anyone who deserved more glowing reviews!
(Oh, but it took me almost two hours this evening to go back and read all of my flist from today - you guys are so prolific when I can't get online. Back 150+ entries? That's just unreal!)
This morning, after waking to take the boys to school, I climbed back into bed for a 1+ hour nap before getting ready for work. When the alarm beeped at 9:20, I lazily hit the snooze button and continued to relish in my new nine more minutes of peace. Before the clock reached 9:29, however, something happened. The fan blowing at my face dulled its whooshing as the revolutions slowed. Just as quickly as I noticed the difference and opened my eyes, the gears picked up and the fan was going at high-speed once again. The VCR and DVD player on the TV at the ceiling was making click-y resetting sounds, and I knew then that the power had gone out for a brief moment. I turned to check my alarm, not surprised at all to see it flashing 12:00.
"Fine," I thought. "I'll get up now, then. I'm going to have to go around and re-set all the clocks anyway." But the strangest thing did NOT happen in the power outage - not a single other clock in the house seemed affected. Of course, I realize the digital clock on the cable box sets itself automatically with our cable provider, so that's usually the one we use to set all other clocks against... but it was still perfectly in time with the display on the cell phone. And the microwave, the stove, the A/C register, etc. - everything was still keeping perfect time. However, as I walked back down the hallway to my room to begin getting dressed, I could hear the loud buzz! of the computer's speakers, but I didn't have time to get sucked into my email, LJ, and other things before work, so I left it alone.
When I returned home at 2:30pm (4.5+ hours later, if you're keeping track), I entered the office and set to righting the computer once again. As I'd noticed earlier, the speaker system was buzzing loudly - this happens anytime we restart or shut down the computer, or anytime the power goes out. The reason for this is that we leave the computer on almost all of the time, so if there is any sort of outage in computer power, it is likely that the monitor and speakers are still on.
As per my usual with a power outage, I switched the surge protector strip to off, reset it, and then turned it back on. I allowed fifteen seconds for the cable modem to boot, and then another ten seconds for the router to warm up. Then I pressed the button on the front of my system, only to be shocked by a sudden, very loud noise as the fan churned in high gear. And kept blowing! As startling as that aspect alone was, nothing appeared on the monitor screen either. In fact, the monitor's power button was lit with a steady orange light - a sign that it had gone into "power save" mode. Moving the mouse did nothing to "awaken" it, and with no video on the screen, my options were limited as to trying anything else. So I shut down the computer and tried again. This time, upon turning on just the power strip, the computer started itself (without me touching the button!), and it freaked me right out. "It's possessed!" I tried it again. And again. I tried two more times, ending in identical scenarios, before fully deciding that I didn't know what else to try, and I was scared to death that my computer was fatally overheating - the loud fan was so unsettling!
So I pulled out my paperwork, and I looked up DELL support number. I called, and I was very quickly connected to a nice man in the technical support department. I explained to him my issue, and he asked me for certain key bits of information. He wanted to know which numbers, if any, lit up on the front of my box when the computer turned on, and I had to flip the power strip once again. And again, the monster system started itself instantly, blowing and growling and sounding so utterly fierce. I read to him the green glowing numbers from the front: 1, 3, and 4.
And he checked his diagnostic notes. He hemmed and hawed, and then he said, "Well, um... This is a pretty serious issue. Those numbers mean that your computer is never bypassing that first fraction of a second in the booting process. Your fan does that every time you turn the system on, you see, but you have probably never noticed it before because it also quiets to near-silence just as quickly. The fan is staying on because the system is not working through the boot-up process at all, and to fix this, we're going to have to take everything out of the box."
I choked, and then spluttered, "I'm sorry? You don't really mean that I will be getting into the inside of my computer... do you? I don't think that would be wise..." And he answered, "Yes, ma'am, I do. But I'll talk you through it, and if anything happens, it will be my liability while you are talking to me. I promise you, we'll get it figured out."
The time was then 2:53pm, and I asked how long the procedure would take (knowing it couldn't be a "quick" fix). When he answered that, "start to finish - barring any major complications - we're looking at 1.5 to 2 hours," I cut in. "I have to pick up my kids from school in ten minutes. How can I call you back and pick up right here where we're leaving off?" He then assigned me a case number, and told me a few details. I needed a clear workspace in which to lay the components of my computer, so I assured him that I had entire floor in the office which I could use, and it was nice and carpeted. He was alarmed, "No! No, you can't use carpet, or the static electricity could shock or ruin a part. You'll need a flat surface." I set about clearing my desk then of all items (picture an arm-sweep of items into my office chair, and you'll be just about right). "Also, you'll need to ground yourself and drain any power from your body before you touch the wiring of each piece - you don't want to shock your system with yourself, either."
"ARE.YOU.KIDDING.ME?!" I screamed in my head. "I cannot do this! Not if I want my computer to LIVE!" I thanked him for the help, and I hung up. As I slid into the driver's side of my car, I could do nothing more than shake my head over and over. I knew I was going to violate - and likely, destroy - my computer very soon.
On the way home from school, I explained the situation to the boys, and I told them I would need them to not come into the office to ask me questions while I was on the phone. They were set with snacks and drinks before I dialed back for help. This second time, I was not so lucky, and it was almost fifteen minutes before I reached a live person in technical support.
And the person had a heavy Indian accent. I nearly began crying even as he introduced himself, so afraid that if I misunderstood something very vital, I'd kill my computer in the process. Before I had called, I had disconnected every single item from the back of the computer, as per the original tech's suggestion, with the exception of the power cord itself. The heavy accent then had to give me his first command THREE times before I could understand what he was telling me to do: unplug the power cord. (I kid you not.) As I bit my lip in worry, I heard him say something like this: "Because your system is a high performance system, I will have to transfer you to a different team of technicians for further help." I let out a deep breath, then quickly gathered another one, crossing my fingers and praying for a tech I could better understand.
"Hello, my name is C. How can I assist you today?" Bless you, he sounded perfect - his voice clear and without a trace of accent. (I later learned he was Canadian.) I nearly cried again, this time in joy.
And then the "fun" began. I pulled all kinds of things out of my box - large cards and tiny, needle-sized jumpers, power and data connectors, hard drives and disc drives, modem cards, etc. It was NERVE-WRACKING, and it was INTENSE. It also took forever, but the tech was so kind, so patient, and so funny! We were cracking each other up with all kinds of quotes and puns. Due to excessive static electricity, I ended up taking off my pants (my slacks are constantly sticking to something), and then my wool socks, too. I asked if I could be wearing anything else worse, and he asked, "Cashmere sweater?" I laughed and replied, "Nope!"
Two hours in, my bladder ready to burst, and I asked the tech for a minute's break so I could pee. He waited for me (I left the phone in the other room - even on mute, it would've felt too weird to pee with a stranger!), and then we were back to work. Finally - FINALLY! - after several mini-heart attacks on either my part or his throughout the process, plus a TON of missed calls (seriously, everyone in the world tried to call me as I was on the phone in those hours), plus Philip's arriving home (which, when I remarked to the tech that I heard my husband in the garage then, he jokingly said, "Maybe you ought to put pants back on, then? Just so he doesn't get the wrong idea!"), we were at what looked to be the end of the fix... and everything was working! (For roughly an hour in there, it looked as though my hard drive was a goner, and I was devastated.)
Best of all, at a very critical moment in part of the shut off, power down, restart process (something done over and over as each individual part was reattached singularly), there was a particularly intense moment when the fan had blown loudly again in the last attempt. In the next one, I saw a window of opportunity to use one of my favorite lines from one of my favorite movies - a line that had never fit the occasion quite so perfectly as it did then: "Hold on to your butts!"
(I love me some Samuel L. Jackson in Jurassic Park. Even though he gets Raptor-ized before the end.)
He laughed so hard, and I was glad he got the line and the joke. In the course of later conversation, we quoted Knight Rider, Spiderman, and Harry Potter. Seriously, I would wish this guy's help on any of you that might ever need a technical assistant. He was so fun, and as we wrapped up the fix, we were both SHOCKED to see the runtime of the phonecall:
4 hours and 17 minutes!
Add that together with the 25 minutes I spoke with the first tech before picking the boys up, and I was on the phone with DELL Support today for a total of 4 hours and 42 minutes! That's just insane!
But everything is working smoothly again, and I also have new goodies on the way:
- 2 GB extra RAM
- 320 GB external hard drive
Things are going to run SO.MUCH.FASTER. once that memory is installed (I am currently running at 1 GB), and I am stoked. Plus I'm really excited to fill out a customer satisfaction survey on this help call - I've never worked with anyone who deserved more glowing reviews!
(Oh, but it took me almost two hours this evening to go back and read all of my flist from today - you guys are so prolific when I can't get online. Back 150+ entries? That's just unreal!)
